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Home Isn't Home

by Mark Lemaire

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1.
You and I could turn away Go when we have always stayed Sell our things, or give them away Begin like babies again. Time goes by recall our start The summer night we gave our hearts To a simple dream that started strong And came out strange and twisted Take this roof and make a floor Take this wall and make a door Leave this house a pile of stone When home isn’t home anymore. It feels so free to ignore the urge The strings that tug from where we were Cut those ties- take a breath Ready for what comes next How much time have we been inside? Let’s stretch our legs and set our sights On the evening star- and leave behind The one that’s broken and wrong Take this roof and make a floor Take this wall and make a door Leave this house a pile of stone When home isn’t home anymore. What beautiful thing can you count on to never ever change? What perfect day will ever last longer than just one day? Take this roof and make a floor Take this wall and make a door Leave this house a pile of stone When home isn’t home When home isn’t home When home isn’t home anymore
2.
I’m reading this book: the author’s name Is the same as this kid I knew in nineteen sixty-eight Alex used to live just a couple blocks away I never knew him well, but I can see him now To be honest, he was a funny kid- that hat he’d always wear Kept mostly to himself, didn’t seem to care One night I saw him on the road heading nowhere I offered him a ride but he kept walking Now that same strange boy with his hat in his hand Walks across Africa to The Zanzibar Sands And I’ll read his books of distant lands It’s funny how a funny kid becomes a remarkable man. I stayed right here, built a family Never traveled far, but at night I dream Of far flung places I never seen I get out on the road, and I keep walking Sometimes I wonder where I might have gone If I never settled down in this Massachusetts town? If I’d stayed in motion, what if I’d planned To walk across Africa to the Zanzibar Sands? But I kiss my wife, start my day Drop the kids at school, and I’m on my way A remarkable life can be led this way I got my road and I keep walking And I’ll read to my kids of distant lands And children who grow to remarkable men Some live right here, but some make plans To walk across Africa to Zanzibar To Zanzibar Sands
3.
Seaglass 04:45
Seaglass- 2008 Mark Lemaire You were sharp, you were bright Like the cutting edge of a jewel Always strong, always right That kind of Irish girl Your collection of sea glass, all soft from the waves But your sharp edges would not wear away. Now you stand in the sand The tide up to your chin Take a breath, you will rise And finally be drawn in The ocean will polish your edges away And deliver you home to the shore where you may be found at last By a girl alone on the beach An Irish lass—the sharp edge that was Kathleen All the men; line them up And bowl them down like pins That was fun; now they’re gone It’s down to this last man There was something in you that could never give in As if love was a game you believed you could win and if it was you’ve won Because I am here to concede So receive your cup—the champion: Kathleen There are those who wander through this world without much sense of line A bit of this, a bit of that—they waste away their time But when you were born you burst forth with something on your mind. You were bright, you were strong. You were right, you were wrong, but You were young, you were proud Raising up your flaming sword That was then, this is now it’s time for something more The ocean will polish your edges away And deliver you home to the shore where you may be found at last By a girl alone on the beach An Irish lass—the sharp edge that was Kathleen To be found at last by a girl alone on the beach An Irish lass the sea glass that was Kathleen
4.
The sun rises through the gray/ it happens every day It turns darkness to color But I can lose my way/ I close my eyes and stay Inside trying to discover Something in the shadow that will open me to see I turn the key A deeper secret is calling me Arms folded in the night/ Are they yours or are they mine? They reach trying to uncover Our eyes search for a sign/ yours look into mine Trying to discover Something in the shadow of the love and we long to feel Soft and real But a deeper secret Is just beyond yet closer still The shadow slowly breaking The sleeping child is waking Quiet as a shadow is the song we long to hear Soft and clear The deepest secret is right here
5.
I fly in my most common dream To Lake of the Coheeries, Lake of the Coheeries My eyes close and the next thing I see Is Lake of the Coheeries, Lake of Coheeries In a big house by myself Tiny windows etched with snow And the land lies buried deep And we’re skating on the ice As I lie asleep I’m flying over winter trees To Lake of the Coheeries Lake of the Coheeries Where the water lies below White ice and drifting snow And the stars hang hard and bright In the silent womb of night In my most common dream I fly in my most common dream To Lake of the Coheeries Lake of the Coheeries, Lake of the Coheeries
6.
Red Umbrella 03:19
It’s a grey day, but you swing that red umbrella Steppin’ out on the street in the cold grey morn Going out in the cold rain, bearin’ down on a hard pain. And every morning you’re back again. Day by day you dedicate the pavement/ But this morning there’s a light up in the sky There’s a gloaming behind the grey, every storm’s gonna blow away And all your hard work is gonna pay Like a diamond from a seed. There’s a silver light behind the cloud Cause behind it, your star shines out And starting right now it’ll come together, things are just gonna keep getting better. Starting right now it’ll come together things are just gonna keep getting better. You been holding on to the path you were born with You can break through, though you fear it might break you first. Try to push through the cellophane, an invisible barricade You try to breathe but you can’t make it, but now you’re breaking free. There’s a silver light behind the cloud Cause behind it, your star shines out And starting right now it’ll come together things are just gonna keep getting better. Starting right now it’ll come together things are just gonna keep getting better. Congratulations how you dedicate your life It’s beautiful to see your star on the rise. You’re goin’ back to the sign of your real home To the place that was there for you all along. You risin’ up to the world that you deserve Through your dedication and nerve. Starting right now it’ll come together, things are just gonna keep getting better. Starting right now it’ll come together, things are just gonna keep getting better. Congratulations how you dedicate your life It’s beautiful to see your star on the rise.
7.
8.
Can we make it simple, when it’s complicated Make it simple when it’s overstated The more we explain the less likely it’s true Can we make it simple? A three word sentence like “I love you.” Is easy to say, but it’s hard to do When we’re strangled and tangled in words Can we make it simple? I’m trying to sleep but I can’t let go For just five minutes can I leave myself alone? My thoughts are circles, and I can’t move on can’t I write a simple three note symphony that anyone can play An easy answer to take this all away But I can’t leave and I can’t pray and I can’t make it simple And then the storm passes, and blows away the words The sun rises on a quieter world Talking-- whatever I’m trying to say Got to find a silent way A three word sentence like: “I love you” Means more after all we’ve been through When words just take me away from you We’ve got to say it We’ve got to keep it We’ve got to make it simple.
9.
A girl I knew spent a year in Ireland Raining, raiing The coat she wore was soaked through cold Raining day and night Years go by, she builds her life Her house is safe and dry Still she sheds a tear for her Irish year The best year of her life A diamond strung on an old bit of twine; a single drop from the spring The chance for a gem on the line of her life A diamond on a string -- diamonds on a string She meets a man in her forty-fifth year another man, another man What might he have to offer her? another man, another man? A chance to spin fortune’s wheel, another drink from the spring And maybe a gem on the line of her life A diamond on a string – a diamond on a string Soon enough she’ll look back on today as long ago She will see that year by year she’s rising, rising She longs to find a mountain that is higher higher The path is steep but she knows she’s climbing higher higher She turns and now at last she sees the story of her life From where I stand I see her as a diamond in the sky
10.
Dedication 03:34
We will not be here too long-- like butterflies in May Basking in the August sun that promised she would stay All too soon October’s moon becomes December snow So simple and so clear, when a life is just a year Let’s dedicate this song to our friends who are gone And pass their stories onward to the younger and the stronger Raise a toast to all the folks lost to memory That made the world we love and the gifts we now receive A child’s shining morning face-- by noon, he finds a lover They become your mom and dad, serving you your supper Care for them as dusk descends, and they become the child again Give back all they gave, ‘cause a life is just a day Let’s dedicate this song to our friends who are gone And pass their stories onward to the younger and the stronger Raise a toast to all the folks lost to memory That made the world we love and the gifts we now receive Remember all the folks lost to memory That made the world we love and the gifts we now receive
11.
Family Way 03:01
Mom left home when she was twenty/ Started living on her own She had a part time job in the afternoon And brought her lunch from home My father grew up on the prairie/ the plains of Canada He took a train headed east for 1000 miles And there he fell in love at In a family, a family way A family, a family way With the rising sun life goes on When I was a boy I’d daydream/ About things I couldn’t understand I would look in the mirror as I dressed for school And imagine myself a man In a family, a family way A family, a family way When the big wheel turns the heart still yearns And like my folks before me I have gone away We can spend our precious time wishing we could stay Upstairs I found an old picture/ Of my father looking just like me He had a look at his eyes that I understood Now I think I see In a family, a family way A family, a family way With the rising sun life goes on When the big wheel turns the heart still yearns The family the family way
12.
I’ll be the rock, you be the kite. Fly as high as you feel, I’m holding tight I’m standing. keeping you in sight. I’ll be the rock, you be the kite. I’ll be the kite, you be the rock Even when I’m crazy, even when I’m lost You’re my connection back to the ground I’ll be the kite, you be the rock The earth is miles below, I’m singing in the blue Then I’m on the ground and the flying one is you I’ll give you what you need when you need to fly The rock on the ground, the kite in the sky. We lay on the ground and looking at the stars We find the lovers- Venus and Mars I’ll give you what you need when you need to fly Lovers on the ground, stars in the sky. I’ll be the stars, you be the night The thread connects us just out of sight Sleep close, darling- close your eyes I’ll be the stars, and you be the night.
13.
14.
If there ever was a time when we needed to be strong To wrest our inhibitions which have burdened us so long This must be the time for love and understanding Our day of hope and passion for our ship is finally landing And I wonder Was it only for the moment that I let myself imagine That the world had ceased revolving And the day had lost its passion And I find myself alone at the junction of these two roads Singing myself this lullaby and wishing I was home Sometimes I feel lonely and sometimes I feel so old There's so little time to act upon the values which we hold If there ever was a reason, if there ever was a time If there ever was a woman who could break this heart of mine I still wonder Was it only for the moment that I let myself imagine That the world had ceased revolving And the day had lost its passion And I find myself alone at the junction of these two roads Singing myself this lullaby and wishing I was home Is it only for the moment that I let myself imagine That the world had ceased revolving And the day had lost its passion And I find myself alone at the junction of these two roads Dying for salvation and wishing I was home

about

“Home Isn’t Home” is the first album to introduce Cindy Lemaire as my fellow vocalist. When we first met, I had no idea that she could sing. But once I heard her voice, it added a whole new level to our relationship. Lucky for me, Cindy, who was not really interested in a life on stage, was still amenable to learning my songs. She was also OK with creating a duo with me and performing my music live. And so…

Here is the instrumental concept behind “Home Isn’t Home”:

A work of art is often defined by what it is not.

On this CD, the concept is to limit ourselves to my one guitar, and our two voices-- the small palette of instruments we use at a live show. A photographer creates a different kind of composition if he restricts himself to black and white. By the same token, when musicians choose fewer instruments, they have to use them more inventively.

Often, when you attend an acoustic music show, the CD that you purchase might come as something of a shock when you get it home. Often, there are lots of instruments that you didn’t hear at the performance, filling out the sound and making it more “professional “. The original voices and guitar might be in there, but they are buried deeply and the whole sound has shifted.

On many folks’ albums, this can be a positive thing. But when I play guitar, I put some specific musical statements behind our voices. I don’t want to bury them. And the vocal blend that Cindy and I have is a delicate thing, and I do not want to cover it up. So my intention on “Home” is to just use one guitar and our two voices- same as at a live show.

BUT: A lot of times I DO hear a rhythm section in my head and I want it to be stated in the song. So then I need to break my own rule!

Folks these days are used to recordings sounding pretty professional and rich sonically—“filled out”. Translation: this isn’t the early 60s anymore--- one guitar can sound empty next to more produced music.

So what to do to make this album sound “big“ while still not adding a bunch of musical candy that covers the guitar and voices? How did we thread this particular needle?

Here is what I settled on:

I chose to allow us a rhythm section (drums and bass) on songs that really called for it. Rarely, some other instrument (like multiple percussion tracks on “Lake of the Coheeries”). But other than that, the center of all these songs is the one guitar part and the two voices the audience hears when Cindy and I perform live.

Within these self-imposed limitations, I have applied great effort to create a wide range of emotions, soundscapes, and moods. My guitar parts contain many lines and musical suggestions- I’m not just strumming the chords. In the mix, I bring out these parts as I hear them in my head: as individual musical statements. And the parts that fretless bass wizard Michael Manring adds go well beyond simply ‘playing the low notes’: his parts are full of ideas and voices that intertwine with the guitar and vocal parts.

Translation: if we got this right, it will not seem like a limited palette to the listener, but rather that “they do a lot with just a little”.

Thanks for reading!

Mark Lemaire July 2022

credits

released January 30, 2024

Guitar and vocals: Mark Lemaire
Vocals: Cindy Lemaire
Bass: Michael Manring, Mark Lemaire
Drums: Bob Blankenship
Percussion: John Santos

Recording engineer/ mixer: Mark Lemaire
Mastering Engineer: Ken Lee Mastering

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Mark Lemaire San Francisco, California

Mark’s music runs from guitar (Rubato, Equinox) to matched harmonies with Cindy Lemaire (Cambridge Cowgirl, Home Isn’t Home)- - so aligned that they seem like two people with one voice! As a recording engineer, his clients have ranged from Jimmy Miller (Rolling Stones, etc) to the San Francisco Symphony. Mark's musical well is deep. The work is nuanced, real, and unlike anything else you’ll find. ... more

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